Life has not left a lot of time for reflection, but I want to get this down before I move on.
This is how I spent much of my time in life. I guess I thought it would stay this way for a very loooonnnnggg time. And it did really. It just doesnt' feel like it right now. I tried to cherish those moments and to not wish away the days of small things. I listened to those moms who declared how quickly time flies and that I needed to enjoy them. We have been very busy and very full.
But now we are here.
And time is still flying. I'm thankful that Fred is away doing college things. He should be. Leaving him in a dorm room with 4 other young men was relatively easy. I've done it before, but he always came back. But the longer he's away, the more my psyche realizes that he's not really ever coming back. He may be here for an extended period of time, but it won't ever be the same. My little boy isn't mine anymore. He's headed for bigger and better things, and my heart isn't ready.
A door is closing on this chapter. It's been closing since it first opened, but now it's imminent. This isn't new, but it sure is new to me. Of course Peter still has 7 more years of school, so we're still in the thick of parenting, but the realization of the closing door makes me more aware of the brevity of time.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not lamenting or depressed--just wistful. I pray that this new awareness makes me take more time to enjoy my boys. I pray that it reminds me to continue to build my relationship with my sweet husband since soon it will be just us. I pray that I will appreciate the moments together and stop being petty over the little things. Mostly though, I pray that I will be thankful for the privilege of being a mom and embrace with joy the young men that God is molding under my roof.