God Prints

As I look back over the last year, and especially the last few weeks, I can see God's hands so clearly in our situation.

--My dad started going to church. After he had seizures in August of 2008, he started attending church with my mom in Keysville. When Kim and I talked about him, she said that sometimes she would just look at him and think "What a miracle that he is here." Truly it was.

--My mom had knee surgery in July. I was torn between going down and staying here. Summer had been hard, and Dad was not always very pleasant since he was hurting so much. He had a hard time when Mom had surgery in March though, and ultimately, God changed my heart and I went. I got to spend time with him just 3 weeks before he died. We had some good conversations and it was good. I'm so thankful that I listened to God and went.

--When Chris called me and told me that I needed to come home, I was about to meet up with my prayer partner of 10 years. We talked while I headed home to God-only-knows what disaster. She was the first person I called after Chris shared the news with me about my dad. She told me that all week God had put my dad on her heart, and that she had been praying for his salvation all week. When I finally got to my parents' house, Mom told me that she and Dad had a conversation about salvation the night before and he told her that he knew he was saved because he had asked Christ into his heart. That is a gift from God!

--At the service for my dad, the pastor chose to read Psalm 139, the Psalm I had memorized several years ago when I struggled with anxiety, panic and pain. How precious that God would remind me of those things then.

--The sermon on my first Sunday back was on God's grace. I had had my doubts about my dad's relationship with Christ, but our pastor and the Lord reminded me from the Word that God's love and grace to us is unconditional, not based on our performance but on God's faithfulness.

--I was able to pray with my family for the first time ever, and to share God's Words of peace and comfort with them in many different ways.

I'm sure there are many many more evidences of God's faithfulness throughout this trauma like the church people who brought food and baggies and paper products through the weekend, my friends here who have taken care of us since our return, and God's sustaining hand to help us walk through each day. He is truly so faithful. The scripture that He has been bringing up to me since about May is Isaiah 43:1-2. It worried me for a while. I'd ask why I needed to hear that.

"...Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel....."

How grateful I am for those words!

My Dad

The last picture I had taken with just the two of us. This totally epitomizes my dad. Look at his expression. I'm mean, not to be messed with. But he's wearing a boa and crown so how rough can he be? Abbey had him around her little finger. I guess I probably did too.

Doing his favorite thing--walking through car shows.

My parents on their 43rd wedding anniversary in June. I love this picture of them.

My dad passed away on Friday, August 13th. What a terrible day! I think the reality is starting to sink in. With the shock that comes with such suddenness and then the tasks that need to be attended to, and the people who surrounded us, we were pretty busy over the last week. But now as we get back to "normal," there is time to think and realize. I stayed with my mom for the week in order to get some things done for her and with her. When I hadn't really done anything by Thursday, it dawned on me that perhaps I may just be there to be there. We shared a lot and cried some and laughed a lot. Coming home Friday was hard, but getting to my home and having to make lunch for everyone seemed impossible. Each day is better. Time is a healer. God is so gracious and merciful to us. We have friends who have called, sent cards, brought meals, and held us up in prayer. I'm sure I'll post more later, but as I went through some pictures, I just wanted to post them for right now and remember.

Nieces

I adore my nieces and nephew. I wish they were closer so that I could see them more often. I suppose it's similar to grandkids--I don't have to discipline them, but I get to enjoy them. All but one of mine are younger than my own children, so I get the joy of little ones again when I am with them, which is not enough. I just got to spend a couple of days with Ashley in South Carolina. I hope to see Lily, Tommy and Rosie for a day in September. It's been two years since I've seen them! In June Abbey and Nichole came up to spend the week with us. We had so much fun. Being the mother of sons, I miss out on many "girl" things, which I suppose isn't all bad. When Abbey and Nichole were here, I had the opportunity to indulge. We shopped, we ate, we laughed, we tried on clothes, we went to a tea party. We even tried our homemade slip and slide. I am so blessed to be Aunt Paula. The boys love being with their cousins as well. They get to do things and experience things that are outside of their normal lives: girl things. I love that my boys are so close with their cousins in Virginia, and how I hope that they will have more opportunities to connect with their other cousins. Those are connections that are unique to cousins--a belonging that doesn't exist in other relationships.

Alive

Ben, Amar, Sam, Fred, Peter and friend Joe

Our first night with Amar

Fred at regionals. He made it to regionals in shot and discus. This was his first year, and he was also playing baseball for the high school.

Peter on crazy hair day. I can still tease!

My poor forgotten blog! Life has been BUSY. Too busy to record. School is over and summer has begun. Peter is on swim team, but now is down with a pretty bad cold that he can't seem to kick. Fred is at Virginia Boys' State this week having a ball. Ben started working for our neighbor stacking hay. He's not very fond of it, but he is fond of the money he's making. Sam is grounded for a while, so he isn't up to anything.

We have a boy from Bombay Teen Challenge staying with us. He's been here for over a week and will leave next Friday. It's been fun, challenging and stretching. Our church partners with BTC and these boys are here to meet Christian families (they live in a home, like an orphanage), to share their testimonies, and to work at FCA Power Camp. It's been quite an experience. Teen Challenge serves the red light district of Mumbai and rescues runaways and orphans. Many of the boys here (13 in all), have horrifying stories that end in being rescued and saved. Amar, our son, has been at BTC for 3 years. His mother was mentally ill, so his father left her and married another woman when he was young. She thought she was getting a job, but ended up being sold in the red light district. When they found that she was mentally ill, they didn't want her either. Workers from BTC found her in the street and took her in. They prayed and fasted for over a month, and Jesus healed her from the mental illness. She went back to get her two sons, but their father wouldn't allow her to take them. On the pretext of taking Amar shopping, she hopped a train with him to Mumbai. When he saw that Jesus had healed his mom, he gave his life to the Lord. She went back and got his brother as well and they all live at BTC. He is a wonderful boy, kind, polite and he loves sports. He is 15. We have enjoyed him so much and learned so much.

Emmaus

Last weekend I went on a walk to Emmaus. It is an ecumenical spiritual retreat. I imagined a lot of alone time, quiet and reflective moments, campfires. I was so wrong. It was not any of those things. It was amazing however. The Emmaus community exists to encourage Christians to become passionate about the Lord and to take that passion back to their local churches. It is a weekend of experiencing God's love in a new way. I did do that. It was a weekend full of emotions. Friday morning I was ready to go home, but that quickly changed. I was challenged to let go of control, to let go of expectations, and to allow others to pour love into my life. That is a hard thing for most women to do. It was fun to watch as women tried to do things to serve but were constantly told to stop and allow themselves to be served. It's not really in our nature as women to allow others to serve us, but for 72 hours we had no choice. My controlling personality railed against it many times, but I was so blessed to be there. I met and connected with a whole new community of believers. We were put into groups with people we didn't know. I am still in awe at how quickly 7 women can bond! These women are my sisters in Christ. God allowed them to speak into my life and allowed me to speak into theirs for 72 precious hours. I laughed harder and longer last weekend than I have in a very long time. A man who goes to church with me was there to pick up his wife at the end. He said, "Paula, I've never seen you smile like that--you're glowing." It felt good! It was so good to get home Sunday evening and share some of that joy with my family. When Fred walked in later he said that I was glowing as well. I guess it's like Moses when he came down from the mountain. (And I'm definitely down from the mountain!). God has such a sense of humor. He put me at the table of Joy. I've been praying for joy for 17 years. I don't see it much, but apparently God does. I hope that I've moved a little closer to experiencing that joy last weekend.

Days

A free day stretches before me. What to do? There's so much, but I just don't know where to start, so I'm blogging instead. I think I'm procrastinating. Chris comes home tomorrow. I don't get many days all alone in the house. What to do, what to do? I've done my Bible study--spent a lot of time in the destruction of Babylon. I'm ready for Jesus's return in chapter 19! I've cleaned the kitchen. The imp in me thinks, "Watch a movie." The perfectionist screams, "Clean up this mess." Hmmm. I wonder who will win. Probably the perfectionist. She always wins. I guess it's time to make a decsion. But lunch is in an hour, so I'll have to stop whatever I do then. I think I need to start making lists. That might help. I used to be a list maker, but I've been so busy running that I have stopped. There was never any time to do anything on the list. Perhaps today marks the turning point in our schedule. Maybe my determination to spend more time at home has caught up with my days finally. That would be good. O.K. Time to start whatever it is. I think I'd better set a timer--for motivation. Here goes.......

Our "family" in Virginia

Easter morning

My tulips brighten my day.

I'm so glad to reap the fruit of my labor in the fall! I love tulips, and I finally took the time to plant them. Each morning they greet me when I go out to look for the bus. They make me smile. Unfortunately, some are already losing their petals. They don't last long enough.

We had a beautiful Easter--the nicest we've had in quite a while weather-wise. We spent it with our friends, the Simmons. They are our local family with whom we spend holidays and many other days when we are here. Donna and I have been praying together weekly for about 9 years and it has truly been a blessing. This Easter they invited another friend who was without family, and she brought her guitar. We sat on the deck in the cool of the evening singing songs while Chris (the friend) played. It was sweet fellowship and a wonderful way to end a most amazing day--the day Jesus conquered death and left an empty tomb.