A Letter

Dear Dad,
     I have been missing you this week.  I wanted to call for Father's Day, but there isn't a connection.   I miss talking with you.  You listened to me and knew who I was.  You really listened.  You knew me.  You knew what I liked. You knew what I would wear when you were buying presents.  You knew what I was thinking--at least sometimes.  I miss that.  I'm thankful that you loved me.   Since I was small I knew that you loved me.  That is a gift.  I love thinking about you laughing so hard that you almost fell out of the chair.  When I pass an old car I think of you.  We saw a U-haul truck with antique license plates.  That made me want to call you. 
     I'm sorry that life was hard for you, but you made it so that life wasn't so hard for me.  I have thought about you many times and had some new insights recently.  I'm just sorry that it wasn't until after you died.  One day I was having a hard time with my emotions.  I said some things harshly to the boys that I shouldn't have said.  I went to the kitchen and thought, "I hope they know that I don't want to be this way--that I really love them."  Then it hit me.  I bet you thought that too.  I bet there were many times when you wished you were different--when you wished that you could deal with your emotions better and that we would know how you really felt inside.  I get that now.  I haven't ever gotten that before. 
      Peter and I read a book about a man who returned from WWII after being a prisoner of war.  He had such a hard time adjusting to life back home, and many of the descriptions of his demeanor and actions reminded me of you.  I had a hard time even reading some of it.  I bet that some of those words and actions stemmed from you being in a war.  I didn't understand.  I couldn't probably.  I'm sorry that you didn't have time or opportunity to heal from that.  Reading about this helped me to understand you better.  I wish it would have happened years ago. 
     I love you Dad.  I miss you.  I wish you were here.
                                                                                                 Love,
                                                                                                 Paula

Field trip

I miss blogging!  I do.  I struggle with perfectionism and what to say, but I miss just doing it.  So I'm going to attempt this again. 

Today we went to the Holocaust Museum in DC.  The electric company said that our power would be out for much of the day, and Peter and I are studying World War II, so it seemed like a good day to go.  I was a little hesitant about going with Peter.  He doesn't like violence of any sort.  He's very sensitive to movies and television.  He will leave if things get too violent (and it's not like we watch those kinds of movies anyway!)  But this is a lesson we need to learn over and over again to prevent this kind of barbarism from repeating itself.   Ben decided to go too and miss a day of school.  Big shock, I know.  But they did just finish reading Night by Elie Wiesel, about his time in a concentration camp.  This relates.  Chris came with us too since he wouldn't be able to work with the power out. 

I have to say they did very well in the museum.  It's not a place that will restore your soul or bring you joy.  The images are surreal.  To watch Hitler's rise to power because of fear and hatred and violence is frightening.  It's hard to even imagine that there are people in the world capable of such evils, but in reality there are.  How does a society let something like this happen?  And how do you move on from that experience?  So many people just ripped from their homes and subjected to the worst horrors that one can imagine.  Babies, children, moms, grandmas--all of them annihilated because someone thought they weren't worthy of life.  I was intrigued by a book called How do you Kill Eleven Million People? by Andy Andrews.  That question is playing in my mind.  What role do I play?  How do I live to make a difference for good in the world?  Could it happen again?  Is it already happening today in the world?  The boys may not remember much about today next year or even next week, but I pray that they will be moved with compassion for those who are oppressed. 

My Men

 I have been surrounded by males all my life.  Growing up I had 2 brothers, no sisters.  We played lots of boy things and our home was pretty noisy.  Now with 4 boys that hasn't changed.  They like things like super heroes and guns.  They have contests regularly because winning IS that important.  They value strength and speed. 

 They do things like this--note the projectile flying through the air.  The other day Ben was trying to work on his AP Government on the computer when Chris came up behind him and shot him in the head with a Nerf dart.  It's a common occurrence. 

 There tends to be wrestling--often.  And usually it's in the dining room/kitchen area.  Everyone is out to bring Dad down.  I don't get it.  I remember when I would wrestle with them when they were little.  Once Sam, who was about 18 months or so, sat on my head while I was wrestling Ben and Fred.  That was the end of my wrestling 3 at once. 

 I love these men!  I remember when we found out that we were having another boy.  I mourned for the loss of reading Anne of Green Gables and Little House on the Prairie together and the various other things you think of when you think you are going to be the mom of a daughter.  That lasted about 20 minutes, and I've not looked back since. 

I am blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful young (and not so young) men.  I have come to respect and value those qualities of manliness that exude from our home.  I love that they don't carry grudges--they are over it in about 3 minutes.  I love that they are strong and brave in the face of real and imagined dangers.  I love that they can lift things and open things.  And I also love that they will listen to Anne of Green Gables  even though they are stunned at the amount of words she uses, and that one of their very favorite movies is The Princess Bride.

YACTS

 YACTS is a drama troupe in our community for students in 6th to 12th grade.  Sam has participated for 2 years, and this was Peter's first.  This shot was taken after their successful Saturday night performance of the musical "Flat Stanley, Jr." 

 They practiced, sang and danced their way to a successful play.  Sam played Dr. Dan, a confused physician, and the Sneak Thief, stealing paintings from the Lourve.  Peter was the French guard at the museum who caught that thief.  Their good friend Benjamin played Stanley's brother Aurthur and did an amazing job singing his solo.

Sam loves to act and to make people laugh.  He did that very well last weekend.  Peter donned his best Cleuseau accent and chased Sam down.  It was such fun to see them get to use their talents to entertain.  I'm so proud of both of them!

Birthday

Yesterday I was going to post that I was thankful that my husband was taking me out to dinner for my birthday, but I didn't have time.  And then he didn't anyway! 
My dear friend Donna gave me a surprise party for my birthday.  I've never had a surpise party.  It was a lot of fun.  The cake, made by Barbara, was gluten free and amazing.  Raspberry and chocolate are one of my favorite combinations. 

I'm thankful for the love shown to me by my friends, and for good food!

Friends part 2

 I'm thankful for the friends my boys have made over the years.  I've prayed for good friends for them since they were young.

 I'm thankful that they have people to talk to, to play with, to call, to hang out with.

 They and their friends bring joy and spice to my life.

                                                          Friendship:  What a great gift! 

Friends

Friends are such a gift.  I don't know what I would have done without these ladies and so many more.

 I'm so thankful for the friends I've had over the years. 

 Whenever we moved, or when one of them moved, God brought another friend into my life.

 Each of them taught me so much--how to love, how to parent, how to be a wife, how to laugh....the list is too long to write.

I treasure these dear women.  We have shared much laughter and many tears, along with babies, frantic calls about teenagers, dinners with our husbands, and God's Word.  I'm so thankful for good friends!