On the other hand....
When I was a brand new Christian someone challenged me to read through the Bible in a year. I took that challenge and am so thankful I did. I loved it (and still do)! It made sense. It spoke to the deep places in my heart and soul. I relished the history of the Old Testament and was fed on the words of the New Testament. It brought joy to see how God's plan really fit together and how clearly it is spelled out in the Scriptures.
We have been so blessed to be in churches that teach right from God's Word each week both in Sunday School and services. We also joined a group of friends to study the Bible and do life together. It was transformational.
I continued to read and learn more about God's Word and started to teach it some too. What a blessing! What fulfillment that gave me! I recall sitting in a Precepts Bible Study class on Covenant and thinking, "I wish I could do this for a living!" One of my great passions is to teach God's Word and to see people's eyes opened to the Truth. It satisfies me in a way that nothing else does.
Two weeks ago we had a church meeting to discuss where we are headed. Each person had an opportunity to share something that God is doing. My eyes teared up and my pulse quickened. I thought, "This is it. This is how I want to spend my life." I just don't yet know what that looks like.
Thus my dilemma--work to make money to pay for college or pursue my passion. I guess in reality we all face this choice many times over. I met with a couple of friends this week and was challenged to write down what the perfect job looks like. I'm struggling with putting it into words, because I guess I don't know. I was really becoming unhinged over these things and had lunch with Chris to discuss them. He encouraged me to follow my desires. I was ready to move. That night I couldn't sleep. I opened God's Word and, as only He can, He quickly directed me to Proverbs 19:1, "It is not good to have zeal without knowledge. Don't be hasty and miss the way." What a precious answer--even though it's still "wait." He has a plan for me. He hasn't forgotten me. He know that I want to know the way. I praise God for this. I could again just let go of my thoughts and my obsessing and settle in to wait on Him some more. How thankful I am that I listened BEFORE falling on my face and having to pick up the pieces.