To Work or not to Work

This has been an ongoing struggle for me. Do I work (at whatever) or do I stay home (kind of a joke since I'm rarely here). For many years I have sensed God's call to be at home and take care of things here, but so many years other things have come across my path that just seemed too good to pass up. I taught history at a private school, was involved with various church things, and lately, subbed at the high school. Last year I subbed off and on and then did a long-term position for 10 weeks. I loved it--mostly. One of the things that I didn't love was not being here to get the younger 3 off to school. Another was that time home to get the house in order before everyone got home. My dilemma is the pull I feel. I did well at school. I got to know and love the teachers and students. I fit in with the department, and even had the head write a recommendation for me to get a full-time position there. I was lauded and paid for the work I did there.

At home, there is not any real lauding going on, nor is there pay (well, intangible, but not cash). I had planned on subbing this year after God made it abundantly clear that I didn't need a full time job right now. But this month, as school started, I felt that I needed to be home completely, not even subbing occasionally. At this point it is a matter of obedience to what I know God is saying. How do I know? Well, He keeps confirming it over and over again--things I hear, books I come across, sermons even. It's evident that I need to tell them no. And it can't just be a "no" when they call, it has to be a "call them and tell them that you won't be subbing" kind of thing. I had told the elementary school that already. That wasn't hard. I didn't really like subbing at the elementary school--no breaks and lots of "herding cats." But I was procrastinating calling the high school. I like the high school. The women who call subs are becoming my friends. They need me there.

I had determined, after being reminded yet again on Sunday that God has other plans for my time, that this week I would call the high school to tell them my bad news. I got a call on Tuesday morning. The woman for whom I long-termed last year needs to take time off. Her baby is very sick. Did I want to do the long-term sub job for her? I know that chances are good that she won't be able to come back. Her daughter is very sick. This could lead into a full-time position where I want to be. I said no. Right after that, I read the verses for the day that I read each day. One of them was, "The Lord your God is testing you in this to see if you love the Lord your God." I knew that, but it was good to have it affirmed. The school will find someone perfectly capable to fill that position, but Peter won't find another mommy to get him ready for school in the morning. Maybe I'll get it this time!