Emmaus

Last weekend I went on a walk to Emmaus. It is an ecumenical spiritual retreat. I imagined a lot of alone time, quiet and reflective moments, campfires. I was so wrong. It was not any of those things. It was amazing however. The Emmaus community exists to encourage Christians to become passionate about the Lord and to take that passion back to their local churches. It is a weekend of experiencing God's love in a new way. I did do that. It was a weekend full of emotions. Friday morning I was ready to go home, but that quickly changed. I was challenged to let go of control, to let go of expectations, and to allow others to pour love into my life. That is a hard thing for most women to do. It was fun to watch as women tried to do things to serve but were constantly told to stop and allow themselves to be served. It's not really in our nature as women to allow others to serve us, but for 72 hours we had no choice. My controlling personality railed against it many times, but I was so blessed to be there. I met and connected with a whole new community of believers. We were put into groups with people we didn't know. I am still in awe at how quickly 7 women can bond! These women are my sisters in Christ. God allowed them to speak into my life and allowed me to speak into theirs for 72 precious hours. I laughed harder and longer last weekend than I have in a very long time. A man who goes to church with me was there to pick up his wife at the end. He said, "Paula, I've never seen you smile like that--you're glowing." It felt good! It was so good to get home Sunday evening and share some of that joy with my family. When Fred walked in later he said that I was glowing as well. I guess it's like Moses when he came down from the mountain. (And I'm definitely down from the mountain!). God has such a sense of humor. He put me at the table of Joy. I've been praying for joy for 17 years. I don't see it much, but apparently God does. I hope that I've moved a little closer to experiencing that joy last weekend.

Days

A free day stretches before me. What to do? There's so much, but I just don't know where to start, so I'm blogging instead. I think I'm procrastinating. Chris comes home tomorrow. I don't get many days all alone in the house. What to do, what to do? I've done my Bible study--spent a lot of time in the destruction of Babylon. I'm ready for Jesus's return in chapter 19! I've cleaned the kitchen. The imp in me thinks, "Watch a movie." The perfectionist screams, "Clean up this mess." Hmmm. I wonder who will win. Probably the perfectionist. She always wins. I guess it's time to make a decsion. But lunch is in an hour, so I'll have to stop whatever I do then. I think I need to start making lists. That might help. I used to be a list maker, but I've been so busy running that I have stopped. There was never any time to do anything on the list. Perhaps today marks the turning point in our schedule. Maybe my determination to spend more time at home has caught up with my days finally. That would be good. O.K. Time to start whatever it is. I think I'd better set a timer--for motivation. Here goes.......

Our "family" in Virginia

Easter morning

My tulips brighten my day.

I'm so glad to reap the fruit of my labor in the fall! I love tulips, and I finally took the time to plant them. Each morning they greet me when I go out to look for the bus. They make me smile. Unfortunately, some are already losing their petals. They don't last long enough.

We had a beautiful Easter--the nicest we've had in quite a while weather-wise. We spent it with our friends, the Simmons. They are our local family with whom we spend holidays and many other days when we are here. Donna and I have been praying together weekly for about 9 years and it has truly been a blessing. This Easter they invited another friend who was without family, and she brought her guitar. We sat on the deck in the cool of the evening singing songs while Chris (the friend) played. It was sweet fellowship and a wonderful way to end a most amazing day--the day Jesus conquered death and left an empty tomb.

Spring is coming! Yeah! Sunshine and blue skies are here for a few days. I love Virginia.

I went to a Planet Wisdom conference with the youth from our church this weekend.
I learned:
The Skit Guys are FUNNY!
Worship music can really move me. I'm not really a music kind of girl most of the time. I crave information. The worship band was Dutton, and they were very good.
Just because a person is speaking at a huge conference, that doesn't mean it'll be amazing. Although it was for many of the boys who went, including one of my sons.
God loves me. He just loves me. Even when I'm being critical in my mind and fussing about things, He still really loves me--and it makes me sob from way down deep.
Jesus suffered so much in Gethsemane over what was to come. I've never spent much time mulling over what transpired there, but I had a minuscule taste of that on Friday when God told me specifically not to do something I really wanted to do and didn't see any moral reason not to.
Not having to go to Alexandria for jury duty all week really does bring out the happy dance in me (but that had nothing to do with Planet Wisdom:)).

Back to School

We can see grass! Actual green grass is now showing across most of our yard. There is still plenty of snow, but at least things are somewhat back to normal.

I am starting my 4th day back at home with everyone else going to school on a normal schedule. It's been busy with dentist appointments, orthodontist appointments, awards ceremony, but I don't have to do that on top of working full time. I went back to school Friday last week just to make sure the transition went well and that Lindsay found everything. I had to wait about 15 minutes for the block to end. I sat in the teachers' room and talked to some friends about school and home. I feel needed and wanted there. The teachers all get along well and are helpful and kind to each other and me--something that apparently doesn't happen at every school. I enjoy knowing the students and talking with them. The teachers appreciate that I follow their lesson plans and grade papers when I sub. I thought that was standard, but apparently it's not. As I walked out of the building, I had to shake the "fairy dust" from my mind. It's a trap. On the way home I chided myself for not writing the reasons why I felt so strongly that I need to be home and not at school. I did follow through and do that when I got home, but it's been over a month since I finished. Things are fuzzy. I tried to recreate those emotions of walking into the house to face a kitchen full of dishes from breakfast, knowing that I had a night of work ahead of me. I want to remember the disappointment Peter expressed when I couldn't be at school for his party or be there in the morning to wake him up. I need to continue to remind myself that I don't want to "...spend my labor on what does not satisfy," as Isaiah says. I don't want to give my best energies to students who could really care less and have nothing left for my family. Being home is no picnic sometimes, and there isn't a lot of acclamation--they need me here, but they don't appreciate that yet. Perhaps this time I will obey the Lord and do what I know He's called me to do. I hope so. My heart breaks for the moms who feel they have no choice but to work. I'm so thankful that I can be a stay at home mom. I was surprised to hear many of the teachers express their desire to be at home. I assumed that they wanted to be teaching. I've learned so much through this experience. I just hope it sticks!

Snow pictures

Outside the back door in the middle of the storm.

The snow covers the bottom of the tire swing.

Snow covering the tires of the car and the van

Goldie swimming through the snow.
The boys sliding across the pond trying to get traction.

Here are some snow pictures as we await another 10-15 inches today. It looks like we may be on the lower side of these totals this time, thankfully. What a winter! The snow is so beautiful, especially with the sun shining on it. We've noticed that the difference between Virginia and Ohio in the snow is that here the sun actually comes out after it snows.

Snow days

So what do you do when you are facing your 6th "snowed in" day in a month and 5th snow day out from school? Well, for those of you who live where it actually snows regularly, you laugh at the people who are paralyzed by the 20+ inches today. We've done a bit of this, a bit of that, a day of Wii, eating, board games, fighting, cleaning. We are getting ready to exercise after lunch digests. Keeping four boys occupied for this long is difficult, but probably not nearly as difficult as when they were all under 10. No one lives near enough to come over, so we are ALONE. This is more difficult for some of us. I was fortunate enough to escape to a coffee shop with a friend as the storm started for some renewal. So far, everyone is alive and well. The snow continues to stream down and blow around, and we already have 17 inches. We know that because we (meaning they) just measured it when they had to shovel a path through the yard so the dog could get to the barn. She came to the front porch this morning when there was only 8 inches. I looked out during a break in the Risk action to see her "swimming" through snow up to her chest in order to get back to the barn. Right now spring looks awfully inviting.